sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy

foreign languages

Just because kids know words doesn't mean we all speak the same language.  I long for the days when I rejoiced that my baby could say, "Meh," and I knew it meant milk.  Be warned parents of infants, it doesn't necessarily get easier.  Communicating with preschoolers is shockingly difficult.  For example, I think the statements, "Clean up" and "Eat your dinner" are straightforward.  Oh, I was so wrong.

Entries in the upcoming "Parent-Child Dictionary" from tinycrackers publishing:
Get dressed. = Sit on the floor and play with your cars, by all means.
Get dressed NOW. = Sit on the floor NAKED and play with your cars.
Put your Clothes On NOW! = Whip your dirty underwear at your brother's head.
Say you're sorry and give each other a hug. = Mumble something and start wrestling.
Help clean the dishes from the table. = Put one dirty fork on the counter and then run away. 
Hurry up. = Give me your best slug impression.
Slow down. = Go super super fast!
Time to clean up. = Built a fort! (and use my best pillows, by the way).
Put your toys away. = Move toys into a pile.
Put your toys Ah-way. = Move pile of toys onto the table.
Put your Toys Ah-Way. = Dump the pile of toys into a bin and put THAT on the table.
PUT your toys AH-WAY! = Place the bin on the floor.
PUTYOURTOYSAWAY!! = Covering it with a book will make it look neater.
Mommy needs some alone time right now. = Climb onto my lap, squirm for a solid 5 minutes, jab an elbow in my gut and then complain that you're thirsty.

 I'm sure I'll become fluent just in time for it to be completely useless when the tween years hit.