tinycrackers

sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy

autumn nights

Some day it feels like life is crapping in your face.  I'm not being crude on purpose...I'm being honest.  We've all been there.  So...you're up late binge-watching Netflix when you hear a coughing sound upstairs.  You pause the television and bolt upstairs like you're 20 years old to rub the back of your first born as he bends over the toilet.  Allergies, maybe beginnings of croup, who knows, but he needs some extra love (no matter how old he is) and you need to be a mom.

You get him downstairs and on the sofa, pour two finger of ginger ale and grab a bowl.  He's half asleep, you figure, so un-pause Netlfix.  He's able to calm down in a few minutes, but you know the usual quick remedies involve a shock of cool air.  Lucky you it's a crisp, autumn night.

You wrap him as best you can in the ridiculously-large blanket you bought at the wholesale club store and try to carry him like he's 6 months old again.  Onto to the made-in-the-USA hammock hooked onto the stand your darling husband made with his bare hands just weeks ago.  He's not sure of what's happening, mostly because you half dropped him on the hammock he's so darn big these days, but in a few seconds you're both curled up and looking at the bright stars in the sky.  You tell him about light-years, astronomers, and physicists.  He tells you about constellations.  You can hear him wheeze a little bit and ask if he's ok.  He says his feet are a little cold, so you adjust the blanket.  The hammock sways slightly and you can feel his warmth in your motherly nook.

This is life.  There's ups and downs.  Day-to-day living in between.  Pay the bills, worry about report cards, visits to the vet, pick up milk and when do I start that diet again?  That's the crap.  Autumn nights in a hammock are where you truly live.  It's where you gain some much-needed perspective and realize why you drive yourself crazy filling in soccer practices on your calendar.  It's where you heart fills up when you're running on empty.  It's more powerful than anything else you can imagine.  It's parenting...

...and no matter how crazy it drives you, you live for it.