tinycrackers

sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy

selections from "101 classic poems of the homemaker"

I was going through some old boxes in the attic and came across this wonderful old tome of classical domestic poetry.  Some of the pages were crumbling, the book is so old!  I started creating an archive to save these melodic works and just couldn't wait to share some of these wonderful pieces on my blog.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I have!  

A Stay-at-Home's Tale of Tragedy

What new hell hath been unleashed unto my washing machine?

My tender nerves are strained

The pants of my beloved were to be cleaned

Alas, they are ever more soiled with gunk

From whence came this gunk?  I cannot know

Tis a used tissue from my dear's pocket?  No

Mayhap a bit of parchment inked with sweet words of affection, intended to be delivered but t'was forgotten amidst the joy of our reunion?  Sadly, no

Ah me, if only t'were a tissue or a bit of parchment, then t'would be much easier to clean

The babe cries in the kitchen

A tear falls down my cheek

Hush, little one, hush

I must call Sears

 

Something is Rotten in the Dwelling

Oh, what scent is this?

Whiffs abound, familiar, yet strange

My delicate proboscis thrusts forward drawing in every last vapor

The wings of my nostrils search for the key to what it may be and where it may lie

What cannot be seen with mine eyes must be sought with mine nasal passages

Tis here?  Tis there?  Distraught am I

Out, damned smell!  Out, I say! 

What! will this house ne'er be clean?

 

Love, Thy Name is Forgiveness

I ate the last

piece of cake

in the refrigerator

 

You were probably

hoping to eat it

when you came home

 

Forgive me

it was so sweet and so moist

and I am really PMSing