selections from "101 classic poems of the homemaker"
I was going through some old boxes in the attic and came across this wonderful old tome of classical domestic poetry. Some of the pages were crumbling, the book is so old! I started creating an archive to save these melodic works and just couldn't wait to share some of these wonderful pieces on my blog. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have!
A Stay-at-Home's Tale of Tragedy
What new hell hath been unleashed unto my washing machine?
My tender nerves are strained
The pants of my beloved were to be cleaned
Alas, they are ever more soiled with gunk
From whence came this gunk? I cannot know
Tis a used tissue from my dear's pocket? No
Mayhap a bit of parchment inked with sweet words of affection, intended to be delivered but t'was forgotten amidst the joy of our reunion? Sadly, no
Ah me, if only t'were a tissue or a bit of parchment, then t'would be much easier to clean
The babe cries in the kitchen
A tear falls down my cheek
Hush, little one, hush
I must call Sears
Something is Rotten in the Dwelling
Oh, what scent is this?
Whiffs abound, familiar, yet strange
My delicate proboscis thrusts forward drawing in every last vapor
The wings of my nostrils search for the key to what it may be and where it may lie
What cannot be seen with mine eyes must be sought with mine nasal passages
Tis here? Tis there? Distraught am I
Out, damned smell! Out, I say!
What! will this house ne'er be clean?
Love, Thy Name is Forgiveness
I ate the last
piece of cake
in the refrigerator
You were probably
hoping to eat it
when you came home
it was so sweet and so moist
and I am really PMSing