sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy

multigenerational cohabitations: a series of experiments

The ICST is wrapping up its research of a series of experiments in which three generations consisting of two senior family members, two junior members, three youths and two dogs willingly shared habitation.  Many questions were raised and hypotheses made, such as how long the initial state of harmony would take to disintegrate.  In addition, there were a number of unanticipated effects, such as a collective weight gain beyond what could be attributed to the natural growth and development of the youths.  Today being the eve of the third and final state of the family migration (selling house was stage one, multigenerational cohabitation has been stage two), the research team is sharing some of their initial findings. One of the experiments conducted set out to determine the sleep patterns of the two junior members and the youngest youth.  The junior members began their cohabitation sharing their sleeping quarters with the youngest youth, who slept in a crib.  "Entire families sometimes sleep in the same room, so how hard can it be?" asserted the female junior member.  The research team recorded the REM cycles of the three when they were together.  Then, whenever the senior members were away from the residence (more on Fight/Flight to come), the youth was placed in a travel crib in their room.  The results were indisputable.  Everyone slept better when the youth was not in the same room as the junior members.  The reasons for these results where more difficult to ascertain.  One scientist insisted it was related to the nasal noises emitted from one of the junior members.  Another believed the youth to be the root of the interrupted sleeping patterns, but this was quickly dismissed by the rest of the team based upon the level of adorableness of the youth.  "I don't care what the reason is," said a bedraggled junior member, "I'm just glad that we'll have our own room again soon."

The senior and junior members of the household provided the research team with a number of fight-flight displays.  The senior members consistently demonstrated their flight pattern with the approach of each weekend.  The junior members' behavior differed slightly.  Whenever the senior members offered to care for the youths, the junior members didn't put up a fight and quickly entered flight mode.  The youths' fight-flight displays differed, as well.  Most often, a flight pattern inside the residence would turn into collisions, resulting in fights.  The dogs displayed no recognizable behavior other than sleeping in their bed behind the sofa.

The ICST noted a theme running through the research, which was an increased appreciation for existence before the cohabitation and a rising anxiousness to resume a similar existence during stage three of the great migration.  With regards to the question of how long the cohabitation could peacefully be sustained, the ISCT team estimated, albeit inconclusively, it was two and half months to three month.  Coincidentally, this turned out to be exactly the length of time the family members ended up living together.  During this time, the scientist collected a large amount of data and carefully organized and stored it.  The data, however, has been lost among the belongings of the family members, which began in neat piles, but is now a loosely organized chaos.  The scientists hope to recover their documents at some point during the final migration stage, in which the junior family members, their youths and the two dogs fully settle into their new residence.  Based upon this particular family's history of unpacking boxes and painting walls, though, this could take several years.  Sadly, we may never know the full results of the mutligenerational cohabitation experiment.