sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy


Freddie and I don't get into arguments often.  Well, it's probably as often as any other couple, but we don't overdo it.  They're usually your run-of-the-mill married couple fights.  We've pretty much ironed out a lot of the little things, like he left his three ties in three different places and none of them are in the closet and I've left a clump of hair in the shower again.  We realize we're not perfect and little, stupid things will annoy us from time to time.  The bigger disagreements are tougher.  They usually start with one of us getting really ticked with the other and me not talking to Fred.  This continues for as long as I can stand it and then I usually end up in not-so-subtle sobs.  Freddie starts consoling me, which I protest at first, then give in and, after a sincere, respectful conversation, we kiss and make up.  And, of course, there are varieties that fill the range from one end to the other. So, why am I writing about this?  Take a guess.  Well, you are partially correct.  We are in the middle of a disagreement right now.  It's not one of our worst, but on a scale of 1-to-10, with 10 being the worst, this one is about a 7.5.  However, the argument itself is not my reason for writing tonight.  No, I am writing because of the car ride home, when I sat in the car pretending to be lost in the passing scenery, wiping away a few fugitive tears and raging, biting words echoed in my head as we sat in stubborn silence.  You know, business as usual.  When I got home, though, I had to smile at myself because I realized just how much I sounded like my mother with a pinch of my father thrown in.  Their words sounding like my voice were so incredibly clear.  It honestly freaked me out a little.  I know that I've become more like my parents the older I've become, but it was one of those rare introspective moments when you can see what is happening as it's happening.  It's like when I see one of my husband's parents do or say something and a connection clicks.  "Ah-ha, so that's where he gets it from."

We all come from something.  Nature versus nurture?  It's tough to say which has the greater influence.  For better or for worse, though, get used to looking behind you to see more of your future.

And as for our argument...it's still not over, but it will be soon.  That much am I certain of.