tinycrackers

sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy

despairings

I don't profess to be good at taking things easy.  I'm a glutton for crazy in my life.  My mother would call it drama (btw, Mom, I come by it honestly).  Exhibit A:  3 kids in under 4 years.  Exhibit B:  5 master level courses while pregnant with child #3.  I don't think I need to go on.  My latest personal hurricane is house hunting.  Fred and I made the decision to move to our dream town while the market was still low and we could afford it in spite of my lack of income-producing work.  Now is the time, so we took the plunge.  We spent a few months cleaning every other day and shooing everyone out last-minute for showings, but it was worth it when we got a buyer.  Then the hunt for our future home could finally begin in earnest. Fast forward to present day.  It's a month later with less than two months to the big move and we still do not have a home.  The first house we fell in love with went to a different bidder.  Our second choice got snatched up while we were holding our breath for the first one.  We hadn't even so much glanced at a third and it was taken in what could only have been a bloody and bitter bidding war.  After that, we went on a major trek visiting open houses every Sunday, falling in love with the town more each time.  The only problem was we couldn't agree on anything.  We weren't having screaming matches or anything.  Sensible, thoughtful conversations about all the pros and cons were exchanged.  It didn't dull the disappointment and frustration at being unable to find something we both felt we could live in.  Suddenly, out of nowhere came Dream House #2.  It's completely overpriced for the current market...like $50-$60k.  Figuring we didn't have anything to lose, we put in a bid closer to the market price, which probably insulted the blind-with-greed owners (I'm sure they're very nice people).  We heard this morning they countered with a pitiful $5k reduction.  Even if we had the money to pay, we wouldn't because the house isn't worth that much.  Aaaaaaaand now we're back to square one.

All of this is happening and I'm planning my daughter's first birthday party, which is tomorrow.  I'd say I was glad for the distraction from this house business, but I already used up that supply of positive thinking yesterday.  I have a million and one things I need to be doing and I feel like doing exactly zero of them.  Instead, I'm engaging in writing therapy.  And when I'm done with this post, I will allow for a few more minutes of wallowing in despair before picking myself up and kicking myself in my ass by remembering the other adversities I have experienced and conquered.  I shall vow to make the best of whatever happens because that's just the kind of person I am, dammit, and then I will finish the ironing...or clean the bathrooms...whatever, just something.