sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy


There are certain items a homemaker should have in his or her arsenal that are true necessities for maintaining sanity and where quality does matter; dishwasher, clothes washer and dryer, hair dryer, vacuum...especially the vacuum.  I love my handheld vacuum.  No really, I love it.  I won't name names (unless you want to pay me to), but let's just say I have the full-size version and more recently acquired the handheld version.  Wow, just wow.  The suction power is incredible.  Crumbs from lunch on the floor?  Gone before the dogs even realize they spilled.  Playground sand dumped out of shoes?  What sand?  I don't see any sand.  If I thought it was true love when I first got the full-size version, then I'm not sure what to call this feeling when I use my handheld.  Lust?  Obsession?  When I wield that cyclonic-suctioning, yellow and gray beauty in my hand I get a sense of what my husband feels when he uses a power tool.

Reasons Why I Love My Handheld Vac More Than My Children

1.  It's easily carried around the house and to the car.

2.  It's lightweight and will stay that way.

3.  It sucks up dirt, dust, Cheerios, crayons... (To be fair, my kids do that, too.  I just don't worry about calling poison control for the vacuum.)

4.  It only makes noise when I want it to.

5.  I can put it in a closet when I don't need it.

6.  The battery drains in 15 minutes.

7.  Emptying it of its waste means simply shaking it out over my garbage can.  No ultra-sensitive, dye-free, aloe-infused wipes needed and no gooey cream before I close it up.

8.  It sucks a lot of things, but not the life out of me.

It's not that I don't love my children.  I just love my handheld vacuum more.