I never knew how much extra skin I had on my neck until my baby grabbed a handful of it. My furniture has that distressed look, but it didn't come that way.
Knowing how to get urine out of a mattress is, I'm sure, a worthwhile skill. It's just not one I felt like acquiring.
Something's not working right when you remove all of your kid's toys from his bedroom as punishment and he hands you the ones you missed.
When my husband calls in the middle of the day to ask how I'm doing and I say fine what I really mean is, "I'm wrecked, just a high-functioning form of wrecked."
Bandaids - good stuck to your kids...not as good stuck to the inside of your dryer.
I want to call in sick, but this 9-5 runs 24/7 and there is no escape.