sometimes parenting can make you feel just a little crazy


I don't normally make New Year's resolutions because I'm really too lazy to make any worthwhile ones, knowing that I won't really stick to them, and I don't bother making cheesy ones since they're...well, cheesy.  Do I resolve to lose weight?  So trite.  Do I resolve to exercise more?  Really...three kids in the house and I don't exercise enough?  Eat less chocolate?  Ok, now I'm just talking' crazy! Do I resolve to be a better person?  A better mom?  If I'm really being honest, I'm always a work in progress.  Some days I'm just more successful at it than others.   No, when I took a moment to reflect upon who I am as a person and how my life is right now, I was actually quite satisfied.  After 33 years, I am more confident in who I am than I have ever been.  I am in my prime*.   Although I want to shake my 19 year-old self vigorously at the shoulders and tell her to enjoy that metabolism while she can, I am more comfortable in my skin now than I ever was back then.  I'm not perfect and my kids strain my patience just about every hour of every day, but I'm a pretty decent person, dammit.  I will not apologize for losing it with my kids when two or more are crying at the same time and I will be happy that I finally need to wear glasses while on the computer because I just look sexy in 'em.

In short, I like who I have become, which I think is a constant struggle for most woman.  With "There's always room for improvement" notwithstanding, we need to like who we are without apology, unwanted facial hair, mood swings and all.

It's been a long road since I first entered my teens and I don't always like counting the years, but they have at least added up to something that I am happy with.  Also, I don't want to lose myself to my kids.  I want them to see me as a whole person because that's how I am going to be the best mother and role model to them.  So, in 2013 I resolve to work to maintain my Self (yes, with a capital S) because I deserve it.

Here's to repairing the tiny cracks in my brain my children have created!  I won't ever be the same as before, but with some mending, I'll be just as good.


*Thanks to Miss Jean Brodie