I don't normally make New Year's resolutions because I'm really too lazy to make any worthwhile ones, knowing that I won't really stick to them, and I don't bother making cheesy ones since they're...well, cheesy. Do I resolve to lose weight? So trite. Do I resolve to exercise more? Really...three kids in the house and I don't exercise enough? Eat less chocolate? Ok, now I'm just talking' crazy! Do I resolve to be a better person? A better mom? If I'm really being honest, I'm always a work in progress. Some days I'm just more successful at it than others. No, when I took a moment to reflect upon who I am as a person and how my life is right now, I was actually quite satisfied. After 33 years, I am more confident in who I am than I have ever been. I am in my prime*. Although I want to shake my 19 year-old self vigorously at the shoulders and tell her to enjoy that metabolism while she can, I am more comfortable in my skin now than I ever was back then. I'm not perfect and my kids strain my patience just about every hour of every day, but I'm a pretty decent person, dammit. I will not apologize for losing it with my kids when two or more are crying at the same time and I will be happy that I finally need to wear glasses while on the computer because I just look sexy in 'em.
In short, I like who I have become, which I think is a constant struggle for most woman. With "There's always room for improvement" notwithstanding, we need to like who we are without apology, unwanted facial hair, mood swings and all.
It's been a long road since I first entered my teens and I don't always like counting the years, but they have at least added up to something that I am happy with. Also, I don't want to lose myself to my kids. I want them to see me as a whole person because that's how I am going to be the best mother and role model to them. So, in 2013 I resolve to work to maintain my Self (yes, with a capital S) because I deserve it.
Here's to repairing the tiny cracks in my brain my children have created! I won't ever be the same as before, but with some mending, I'll be just as good.
*Thanks to Miss Jean Brodie